What If Supernatural Was Backwards?
by IndigoNightandRayneStorm
Summary: Oneshots/drabbles/jokes about what Supernatural would be like if more of the men died, and less of the women. Don't take this too seriously, its just for fun.
1. Killed Off

**Alright, so I watch Supernatural, and I like most of the men, however I'm annoyed when they kill off all of the women, especially the women they've killed in season five, so this would contain spoilers if you haven't seen the latest. I'm most upset about Ellen, and after tonight's new kill, I was inspired to write this. No, I'm not a hater, I just needed to get it out of my system, so consider this a joke.**

"Oops," Ruby sighed, "Damn." She'd actually cut Sam's head off. It was all bleeding and shit on the ground. But he was still pretty as he died violently. Ruby glanced over at Anna.

Anna rolled her eyes, "You're so clumsy, demon." As she spoke, Anna tripped on a random cord and accidentally implanted a bomb in Castiel's chest and watched him explode.

Ruby crossed her arms over her chest, "I'm clumsy? You made a mess of this lovely room."

Anna yawned, "I'm gonna take a shower. I've got Castiel bits on me."

Ruby smiled fondly. "That silly angel." She started cleaning up pieces, throwing his arm in the garbage, when there was a knock at the door. Ruby answered it.

"Hey," Jo grinned widely, "I brought booze!"

Ruby high fived her, "Its a party then." Ellen trailed Jo in.

"I have to keep Jo in line, she can get a bit tipsy and you girls just urge her on," Ellen said, setting the pizzas she'd brought on the table. "I'll help you bag up Sam's dead body."

Ruby nodded, "That'd be a help."

Ellen picked it up with super-strength, "Let's just throw it out the window."

"Kay," Ruby said and opened the window. Out he went. "Oh look, Ellen."

Ellen peeked out the window, "Oh, shoot. Seems I dropped the body onto Bobby. I think his spine is coming out his eye. That sucks."

Anna came out in a towel, "Oooh, pizza!" She grabbed a piece and chowed down.

Ellen chided, "Now, now, use a plate, we don't want to make a mess."

Anna blushed, "What a dummy I am! I hate messes. Hey, need help with that blood?"

Ruby shook her head, "No, we got it. Jooo, save some vodka for us!"

Jo stumbled around, burping, "Sorry." The bottle was half gone. Suddenly, Dean entered the room.

"Oh wow, seems you've killed every major male character in our show that wasn't already dead. Am I about to die?" he frowned.

Ruby glanced at the other girls, "Course not." Anna ripped his clothes off with her mind, and Jo tossed him a beer.

Dean nodded, "Its a party then! Oooh, pizza!"


	2. Written Out

**So I had a second wind! Unrelated to the first, but same idea.**

"Like, oh my god, Dean. Like darn it. Sarah won't call me back," Sam whined, fluttering his eye lashes and tapping his nails, "I like totally called her and left her messages about art, and she won't reply. Girls are so hard to figure out."

"Yeah man," Dean agreed, pouting, "Cassie won't call me back either."

"Its like they've written us out of their like... lives, like," Sam sighed. "Even though we had that meaningful kiss. And I thought you know, she likes art, I destroy demented haunted art, match made in Heaven. Apparently not. She led me on."

"Yeah, like, goshies, Cassie and I fought attacker cars. I thought- soul mates! I even tempted her by saying a car was attacking me, but no go," Dean said.

Sam started to quietly sob, "Why don't they like usssss?!"

Dean groaned, wailing, "What have I done? I thought I mattered! We made promises, that I'd appear in her life, but it never came around."

"Its times like these that I miss that one chick I fucked who was a werewolf," Sam muttered, "At least she died, so I know she's not ignoring me. That makes me feel better."

Dean stuck his lip out, "And remember that Jesus girl you made out with? She never called you either. I thought I knew women, but they ignore us!"

Sam widened his eyes, "Maybe its because we're sexist and try to make all women either evil or sex objects."

Dean frowned, "Nah, couldn't be."

---

Somewhere else...

Cassie and Sarah sat together, laughing at phone messages, letters, singing card carriers, and youtube videos of Sam and Dean's love.

Sarah smiled, "Let's set it on fire!"

Cassie nodded, "See how YOU like it."


End file.
